Life Goes On
by freakily obsessed Yassen fan
Summary: Set between "A New Beginning" -read that first or this won't make sense!- and "Like Father, Like Daughter". Holly and Yassen meet up again three years after leaving each other. One-shot, but might become a two-shot from Yassen's POV too. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

**Hiya, Some people have asked for me to write this after reading "A New Beginning" (read that first or this won't make ANY sense at all!), so here it is: the return of Holly!! :D**

The gunshot was astonishingly loud. It reverberated along the alley and invaded my ears. I slammed my hands over them with a cry of shock. I saw a dark shape detach itself from the shadow of the wall and fall to the floor. Another shape appeared, outlined against the dim light at the end of the alley. The figure bent down and prodded the body on the floor before standing up again.

I let out a little fearful squeak and the figure turned towards the sound instantly. I could see the shape of the gun in one hand. Long buried training raised my arms and lowered my centre of gravity.

"Who are you?" the voice was male and somehow familiar. I didn't reply, but took a couple of steps back. The man walked towards me, moving gracefully over the uneven, filthy ground. "Well, who are you?" he asked again, stopping a few feet from me. There was a faint twist of Russian in his accent and his hair, cropped short, was so blonde it was almost white.

I still didn't reply and he sighed. I saw him raise his arm, the one holding the gun, and take aim at my head.

A car flashed past, casting a shaft of light right into my eyes. I thought I heard a gasp, but with the roar of the car's engine in my ears, I couldn't be sure. My eyes were squeezed tight shut, partly from fear, but mostly for protection against the sudden blinding brightness.

When I opened them again, the man in front of me was gone, halfway down the alley. He leapt gracefully over the body at the far end and I realised why he was so familiar. I knew him.

"Yassen?" I asked, peering at him through the gloom and lowering my arms. He stopped dead, bowed his head and glanced back at me.

"How do you know my name?" he asked, keeping his voice cold and level. I hesitated; he sounded so different.

"You don't recognise me, do you?" I said, hearing the words shake and cursing internally. Why did I have to lose it now, of all times?

"No," he retorted quickly. Too quickly. He must have realised that his response had been too quick because he sighed, turned slowly, looked at me. His eyes were hopeful, but the expression faded as his eyes roved over my face, to be replaced by resigned recognition.

"Yassen," I repeated, smiling. His lips tilted slightly, but his eyes remained cold and distant.

"Holly," he said formally. One of his hands rested lightly on the gun that he had tucked into the waistband of his jeans. My heart leapt as he said my name and my smile grew wider; I couldn't help it, his voice was too familiar.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," I said, stepping forward. He instantly tensed, lowering his body slightly, his eyes flashed dangerously and I stopped instantly, my breathing quickened fearfully; there was something dangerous about him that I had never seen before.

"You shouldn't have come here, Holly," He said quietly. His voice was apologetic. "You know what I'm going to have to do now."

"You don't have to," I said, my voice rose in fear and he stopped his hand, which was once again holding the gun. I could see the indecision in his eyes and smiled uncertainly, pleading silently for my life. He sighed and lowered the gun again.

"Thank you," I gasped. My legs felt suddenly weak and I staggered slightly. Yassen was at my side in an instant, one arm looped around my waist to keep me upright. His closeness stole my breath and didn't help the feeling that my legs had turned to water.

His eyes were almost scary, the look in them was so intense. We stood in silence for a few seconds; memories that I had suppressed for the last three years rose suddenly and painfully to the surface. Yassen's eyes were clear for once and they reflected the memories that he was suddenly reliving, too.

Impulsively, I took a small step towards him and wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder. He pulled back instantly, breaking my grip and sliding his face back into its usual blank mask.

"Sorry," I said slowly. He shook his head and stepped back again, avoiding my gaze. "I missed you, though," I explained, hearing the plea in my voice.

"Why? Why would you miss me?" he asked, one eyebrow raised. His voice, so familiar, sent my heart into a somersault.

"You know why I missed you. I told you before I left Sennen." I hesitated. "Nothing's changed. I still feel the same."

"After three years? That's impossible," Yassen said, shaking his head disbelievingly, but I noted that he still knew how long it had been since we had been in Cornwall together. I could pretty much recite to the hour how long it had been since I had last seen him.

"No, it's not," I affirmed, stepping forward. He didn't move away this time and I gave him another hesitant smile, which he returned.

"I really did miss you," I whispered before my throat constricted with tears. He nodded slowly.

"You too." The words were almost too quiet to hear. Yassen was smiling gently, but his eyes were darting around, looking everywhere but at me.

"Yassen…" I said softly, once the lump in my throat had cleared. His eyes settled on mine and his smile widened slightly, becoming genuine.

"Holly," he replied, took a couple of steps forward and stopped, his eyes searching my face. "Holly. I missed you."

I grinned and he took another step forward, closing the gap between us.

"You made it as an assassin, then?"

"Obviously," he replied, one eyebrow raised and a lopsided smile tugging at his lips. I rolled my eyes at the flash of his old arrogance and he grinned.

"You're different, though; you're somehow… colder."

"It's what the training does to you," he said, shrugging. For a moment I thought he was going to add something more, but he clamped his mouth shut and looked away. I searched for something to say, for a link that we would both be able to talk about.

"What about Hunter? John Rider, is he ok?" I asked eventually. I knew instantly that I had asked the wrong question; Yassen's eyes hardened and his shoulders shook slightly before he was able to regain control and face me again. It was as if a switch had been thrown; his eyes suddenly reflected his every emotion and his face was more expressive than it had been before.

"He was killed a couple of weeks ago," he said, voice shaking with suppressed emotion. I staggered, I felt like a piece of my heart had been torn out; John Rider had been my friend and teacher, and now he was dead. Gone. I'd never see him again.

"How did it happen?"

"MI6," Yassen spat furiously, his face was suddenly terrifying as he let the rage and pain show. "They double-crossed us and shot him halfway through an exchange." My hatred of MI6, which had been dwindling since I left SCORPIA, returned with a vengeance.

"Why did you leave?" Yassen asked suddenly, changing the subject. "Hmm? What?"

"Why did you leave SCORPIA? Why did you leave me?" the last word shook slightly.

"I had to. I explained it all when we were there."

"I know you did. I just wanted to know if would make more sense if you told me again." His words sent a pang of guilt through me; I had been the first friend he'd had since his parents died, and I'd just left him, like everyone else had. No wonder he was so cold towards me now.

I went through my reasons again and he listened quietly. When I'd finished, he sighed.

"Does that make any more sense?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah… it does, I suppose. But I don't understand why you left when it hurt you so much," he sounded genuinely puzzled and I understood the feeling. They had seemed so rock-solid at the time, but each time I'd gone over them since, my reasons for leaving Yassen in Cornwall seemed weaker and less convincing, so I told him as much. He didn't reply, but he didn't look away again.

We stood in silence for several long minutes before, with a long, graceful stride, Yassen crossed the short distance between us, and was at my side and had his arms wrapped around me, holding my body tight against his. I hesitated for a second, and then pushed myself closer to him.

"Yassen…" I said hesitantly, he looked down at me and I rose onto my toes and pressed my lips against his.

Memories of our previous kiss flooded back, filling my eyes with tears. He pulled away quickly, his gaze pointedly avoiding mine before he turned his eyes back onto my face. Seeing the tears in my eyes, he smiled gently and wiped them away with the tips of his fingers.

"You were thinking about when you left, weren't you?" he asked, his voice scarcely louder than a breath. I gave a tiny nod and tried to push closer, but he held me away.

"He-" I started to protest, but he smothered the word with his mouth. Only then did he pull me closer, deepening the kiss in the process. When he finally pulled back, his eyes were bright and a slight flush coloured his ivory skin.

"Holly," he breathed, holding me tighter against him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest; he was so much taller than he had been.

"Yassen…" I hesitated, but the chime of the clock in the church made up my mind for me and I pulled away, eased his hands out of their tight grip on my shoulders and stepped backwards. "I have to go."

"What? Why?" his voice was bewildered, it matched the expression on his face perfectly.

"I'm expecting a call in five minutes," I explained. From his expression, it was clear that he didn't think this was a good enough reason and I smiled.

"It's sort of important; it should get me about ten grand. You can come with me if you like, I'm not trying to get rid of you." Yassen smiled at that and moved closer again.

"Let's go then," he murmured. I grinned and linked my arm through his, just like I had done while we were in Cornwall together. He was smiling too, when I looked up at him. I couldn't believe how much he had grown and filled out. His chest and shoulders were slightly broader now, but his waist was still slim and he was just as graceful as he had ever been. He seemed to feel my eyes on him, because he glanced down at me as we walked along. He smiled when he met my gaze and I felt my heart start pounding faster; there was a glint in his eyes that made my legs feel like jelly. Jelly that hadn't even set.

I led the way back to my flat quickly and in silence. The phone was ringing when we came through the door and I hurried to answer it. The deal was sealed within minutes, while Yassen paced impatiently around the room, pausing every now and then to kiss me, on my cheek, my neck, anywhere he could reach.

"Yeah, that's fine. Yes, we'll have them ready for you in under a week. Ok, bye." I finally hung up the phone and turned to watch Yassen as he strode past the window.

"I'm finished," I said softly, grinning as he stopped dead on the far side of the chair, vaulted over the back and closed the distance between us in a matter of moments. His mouth was suddenly pressed against mine, his fingers twisted in my hair and his body pinned mine easily against the wall.

From then on, time took on a strange state; passing all too quickly and only allowing scattered details to filter through into my consciousness. Yassen's hands sliding over my skin, peeling my clothes off; his lips moving down my body with agonising slowness; him breathing my name over and over, becoming more and more urgent.

When time slowed to its normal speed, his body was twined with mine, one arm looped around my shoulders, holding me tightly against his smooth, muscular chest.

"Holly," he whispered softly. His finger traced a line from my ear to my lips. "Holly."

"Yassen," I murmured in reply. "What is it?"

"I really did miss you." I grinned and twisted around in his arms to place a kiss in the hollow at the base of his throat. I felt him tense under my hands and hesitated, unsure. But he relaxed after a few seconds.

"Sorry, being an assassin isn't just a job, it becomes your life." I nodded to show that I understood and pressed closer against him. He didn't tense this time and I relaxed into his arms. It was hard to believe that I was really here, lying in his arms.

I must have slept because the next thing I knew, Yassen was on the far side of the room, dressed in a pair of pale jeans and talking quietly into his mobile. He glanced round when I sat up, and flashed me a quick, fake smile before turning away again. I was instantly alert. He finished the call quickly and slid the phone into the pocket of his jacket, hung over the back of the chair in the corner.

"Holly." Yassen sat down beside me on the bed. His face was full of regret and pain.

"What is it? Yassen, what's wrong?" he flinched as I said his name.

"I have to leave you," he whispered. He met my gaze, silently pleading for me to understand, but nothing registered. I was in shock. He couldn't be serious?

"Why?" It was a pathetically inadequate response but it was all I could manage.

"I have another mission to do. I need to get back to SCORPIA as soon as I can. Holly, please." This last was as I flung my arms around him and pulled him down beside me.

"Please don't go." Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks and choke my voice, but I wiped them away and swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I can't not go." Yassen gently disengaged my arms from around his chest and sat up again. "Please, Holly, please don't make this any harder for me." I nodded and pulled away from him, face turned away so he wouldn't see the tears glittering on my face in the early morning sunlight.

"I love you, you know that, don't you?" I whispered.

"Yes, I know." He hesitated before leaning forward and resting his chin on my bare shoulder. His touch made me tremble. "You don't know that I love you too."

I'm still not sure whether my heart stopped beating for a few seconds then. They were the words I'd dreamt of hearing from him for years. I was tight against him again before I knew it, and all I was aware of was that he wasn't pushing me away, that he responded when I pressed my mouth to his. His hands slid over my shoulders and drew me closer still, until we were more one person that two.

But then he pulled away again and there was a sense of finality in the air as he put his jeans back on again, then followed with his tight-fitting t-shirt and the jacket that was still over the back of the chair. I dressed at the same time and our eyes never left each other, trying to make the most of the tiny amount of time we had left.

"Where do you need to go?" I asked. My voice shook, but I didn't bother trying to keep it under control.

"They said to call them when I was in the town centre, and they'd send someone to get me." Yassen's voice was steady and carefully cool. He reached out and took my hand, kissed it quickly and let it fall back to my waist. "Don't come with me, please, Holly, stay here so you're safe. I couldn't bear it if you got hurt." I shook my head.

"No way, I'm staying with you." I crossed my arms and raised my chin defiantly, daring him to disagree. He didn't, but his face hardened for a brief moment.

"Come on, then," he said, resigned. He took my hand as I stepped past him onto the landing, pulled the door shut behind him and led the way slowly down the stairs.

I gripped his hand tightly in mine; it seemed too cruel that, after three years apart, we could be reunited for one glorious night, and then torn away from each other yet again. A single tear rolled down my cheek before Yassen caught it on the tip of his finger.

"It'll be alright." He pulled me in closer against him and looped an arm around my shoulders. I tried to relax, but I couldn't. "Holly, it's ok."

Yassen stopped and turned me round so I was facing him. He bent down and kissed my forehead gently, then pulled me into his arms in a crushing hug. I buried my face in his shoulder. This couldn't be happening again, not now.

"This sucks," I muttered, drying my eyes. Yassen gave a soft laugh and slipped his arm back round my shoulders.

"Come on."

It was almost ten minutes to the town centre, walking slowly. I didn't cry again. It didn't change anything, and I could see the anguish it caused Yassen to hurt me.

When we got to the wide main street, we stopped dead. There were suddenly all too many memories in my mind and I clasped Yassen's hand even tighter. He responded with a light squeeze, and then slipped his hand from mine and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He pressed a number on speed-dial and held it to his ear.

"It's Yassen. I'm at the town centre." There was a sentence of reply, and then the dial tone as the other person hung up. Yassen sighed and slid the phone back into his jacket.

"How long before they arrive?"

"Ten minutes, maybe fifteen." His voice was sullen and his eyes, when he met my gaze, were damp with tears. That surprised me. Sure, he had cried when I'd left him in Cornwall, but I hadn't expected that he would do the same now. He smiled weakly and rubbed a hand over his face.

"You ok?" I asked softly. He shrugged and tilted his head to one side while he considered it.

"Yes. Actually, I am ok." He smiled encouragingly. "I'm with you, Holly. How could I not be ok?" he pressed his lips to my forehead again and drew me closer. I couldn't help but smile as his hands settled on my back, one between my shoulder blades, and the other in the small of my back, so his little finger rested lightly on the waistband of my jeans.

"I'm going to miss you," I whispered. He nodded silently against my cheek and pulled me closer against him. I had to fight back tears again, but I won; they stopped at my eyelashes and I brushed them away quickly before Yassen could notice them.

"Where do you have to meet whoever's coming to get you?" I asked hesitantly. Yassen pulled back instantly, his concentration broken.

"In the car park next to the lake, apparently." He grinned guiltily at me. "How do I get there? I've never been here before, remember?" he added quickly, seeing me roll my eyes.

"Come on, follow me." I started to walk away, but Yassen wasn't following and I stopped. "What's wrong?"

"You can't come with me." He came over to me and took my hands in his, bringing them up to his chest. "It's too dangerous."

"I don't care. I'm not going to spend a second away from you if I don't absolutely have to." A flicker of annoyance crossed Yassen's face and he pulled me closer.

"Holly, I'm not going to risk your life," he said. His voice was low and almost threatening. Combined with the fiercely protective look in his eyes, he was almost scary. Almost.

"And I'm not going to leave you until I have to. Come on, this way." I slipped one of my hands out of his grasp and, holding the other, led the way up the gentle slope of the high street.

A few minutes later we stopped at the edge of the park next to the car park and less than a hundred yards from the waters edge. Yassen put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close against him. I leant my head against his chest, breathing in the delicious scent of his skin. He stroked my cheek gently with one hand. Those last few minutes with him passed with almost terrifying swiftness. I wanted it to last forever, but all too soon he stiffened against me, his head snapping round as some animal instinct told him that the other SCORPIA agents had arrived.

I stepped back and he spun around, lowering himself slightly as he tried to find them.

"On the road up there," he said after a moment, jerking his head in their direction. I caught a glimpse of a black car rounding a corner.

"They've gone the long way round. We've got a couple of minutes." I stepped closer to him but he swerved away from me.

"You should go; they'll be back soon."

"Yassen…" I wasn't sure what I was going to say, but I didn't get the opportunity. Yassen's lips pressed against mine with a sort of desperate passion as he tried to push me away and hold on to me at the same time.

"They're back," he said suddenly, pulling away. I retained my grip on his fingertips, but barely. "Holly, you need to go."

"Yassen…" I repeated. He pushed me backwards, out of sight of the road, and then drew me in against him. He kissed me again, rushed and clumsy. His lips pressed against mine and I pushed closer against him for a second.

Tears filled my eyes again, but I didn't brush them away this time. He pushed me slowly away from him, kissed me once more on the forehead and then turned away.

"I love you," I whispered, hardly able to see him.

"I love you too," he replied softly. There was a quick flash of white as he gave me a small smile, and then he was gone.

I think I died then. The next few days… weeks… months were more difficult than I could have ever imagined. I felt like my heart had been torn out. It was like the last time I had left him, but worse. Much worse, because now I knew exactly what I was missing.

It was only months later, sitting on the edge of the bath and holding the slender wand of the pregnancy test, that I began to come alive again. I had to be normal. For our baby. It felt good to say that. Our baby: a part of me and a part of Yassen. I smiled grimly and ran my hands over the small bulge that showed where my baby- our baby- was. My heart still hurt, but I had someone to live for now, and I wasn't going to let our child down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, sorry it's taken so long, I've had SO much homework you wouldn't believe! Anyway, I've finished!! YAY!! Please Review!!  
**

I stood half concealed in the shadows at the end of the alley. The night was silent apart from the occasional car in the distance. The gun's reassuring weight in my hand gave me something to focus on. I heard a clock chime somewhere in the distance and tensed. My eyes locked onto the door opposite and I half-raised the gun. One minute left.

Exactly on time, the door opened. A man came out, walking boldly down the middle of the alley. I stepped out of the shadow, directly into his path, and smiled. His eyes widened in fear as I brought the gun all the way up and pulled the trigger.

The shot was loud, reverberating between the walls. He fell instantly with a short gasp. I stepped over him, bent and prodded his body. There was no heartbeat and I stood up again. A faint sound drew my attention towards the mouth of the alley. A slim female figure was standing there tensely. She moved when I turned towards her, raising her arms defensively.

"Who are you?" I asked. She didn't answer and I started to walk towards her, picking my way easily and smoothly over the uneven ground. "Well, who are you?" I repeated impatiently.

She still didn't answer. Her eyes were wide and staring in the darkness. I sighed gently and raised the gun; she wasn't an ally and she would only be another danger if I let her live. My finger curled around the trigger as I took aim. Her eyes had closed and her face was contorted with fear.

A car flashed past, its headlights shining full on her face. In the couple of seconds I could see her face clearly, my heart almost stopped beating. No! It couldn't be her! Shock pushed the gun down and tore a gasp from my lips. I wasn't aware of moving away from her, but within seconds I was on the other side of the alley. It couldn't be her.

I turned and headed back down the alley, trying to convince myself that I'd been imagining things. I leapt easily over the body on the floor and felt a brief thrill of relief.

It was dispelled quickly.

"Yassen?" I froze at the sound of my name, recognising her voice.

"How do you know my name?" I asked in a voice colder than ice. I'm not a religious person, but I was praying then: praying that she would think she'd got it wrong.

"You don't recognise me, do you?" her voice was pained. Of course I recognised her; how could I not?

Aloud I said, "No." The word had slipped out automatically, too quickly to be true. I sighed and turned to face her. My eyes roved over her face and hope that I was mistaken faded quickly. It was her. It was Holly.

"Yassen," she said again. A bright smile lit her face and I had to fight one of my own.

"Holly," I said stiffly. I saw her eyes flick down to my hand, still resting on the gun that I had tucked into the waistband of my jeans, and then her smile widened and it was all I could see.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," she whispered, stepping towards me.

Training took over then, and I tensed, lowering my body and tightening my grip on the gun. Holly stopped and I heard her breathing speed up.

"You shouldn't have come here, Holly." I could hardly get my voice above a whisper. "You know what I'm going to have to do now." She did- of course she did- and her face tightened with fear.

"You don't have to," she said, fear trembling in her voice.

My hand had already started to rise, holding the gun and aiming it at her head. For the first time in my career, I hesitated; could I do it? Could I kill Holly? She smiled hopefully at me and I lowered the gun. Of course I couldn't kill her. It would be like killing part of me.

"Thank you," she gasped. She staggered a little and I raced towards her automatically. I caught hold of her, wrapped an arm around her waist and held her up, pulling her towards me.

We both held still. I was sure that, like me, she was reliving our time together, a little over three years ago now. I gazed at her in silence for a few seconds; she had changed a lot. Her skin had paled and her eyes were surrounded by dark shadows. She looked tired, but happy. She suddenly stepped even closer and threw her arms around my neck. Once again, instinct born of years of training took control and I pulled away from her, making my face blank again.

"Sorry," she mumbled. I stepped back, putting another step between us and shaking my head. "I missed you, though." I stopped and tilted my head to one side slightly.

"Why? Why would you miss me?" I asked slowly, though I already knew the answer she would give.

"You know why I missed you. I told you before I left Sennen." She paused and raised her head- locking her eyes with mine- before continuing. "Nothing's changed. I still feel the same."

"After three years? That's impossible," I said. She shook her head.

"No it's not," she said. I didn't tense when she accompanied the words with another step towards me and she smiled. I returned it hesitantly, unsure of what to do; I didn't want to risk everything I'd done over the last few years, but there was also something about Holly that I just couldn't say no to. Something that forced me to open my armour and show exactly what I was feeling.

"I really did miss you." The words took me by surprise, but my answer, when it came, almost knocked me flat.

"You too." It was true. I had missed her; I just hadn't realised it until then. The realisation made me smile slightly.

"Yassen…" She whispered, sounding choked up, like she was on the verge of bursting into tears. I finally fixed my eyes onto her face and felt my smile widen.

"Holly," I said softly. I too a couple of steps forwards and stopped a few feet away from her. "Holly. I missed you."

Holly's smile widened and I took another step towards her, closing the distance between us.

"You made it as an assassin, then?" she asked slowly.

"Obviously," I retorted, raising an eyebrow and smiling. It was surprisingly easy to forget what I was and slip back into 'seventeen-year-old' mode. Holly smiled, rolling her eyes, but then she was serious, looking at me curiously.

"You're different, though; you're somehow… colder."

"It's what the training does to you," I said, shrugging. I briefly considered saying something about Hunter, but decided against it; I didn't want to upset her, and she would probably ask about him soon enough.

We stood in silence for a few minutes; I was deep in thoughts that swung between the woman in front of me, my old mentor, and our time together in Cornwall. For the first time I wondered what had become of Jack and Laura. I opened my mouth to ask, but Holly cut across me.

"What about Hunter? John Rider, is he ok?" she said. I froze; I felt my features freeze as I thought of what had happened. Part of me registered the look of shock on Holly's face and realised that she could see exactly what I was feeling, but the tide of emotions- pain, rage and fury, was too strong to resist and I resigned myself to a few minutes of weakness.

"He was killed a couple of weeks ago," I said, eventually. Holly staggered, the look of shock turning to pain and a deep, heartbreaking loss. I knew that our expressions matched perfectly.

"How did it happen?"

"MI6," I growled, venom filling my voice. "They double-crossed us and shot him halfway through an exchange." She didn't respond to that, but there was fury in her eyes.

"Why did you leave?" I asked after a few moments. She jerked slightly.

"Hmm? What?"

"Why did you leave SCORPIA? Why did you leave me?" It still hurt even to think about that, but I had to know, no matter the cost.

"I had to. I explained it all when we were there."

"I know you did. I just wanted to know if would make more sense if you told me again." Guilt flashed over her face and I flinched internally, though my face was once more a blank mask over my own emotions.

She talked through her reasons; I didn't want to use the word excuses, for leaving me. I listened as much as I could, keeping a lid on the pain, but her voice, her eyes, the very fact that it was Holly, distracted me constantly. She finished and I nodded.

"Does that make any more sense?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah… it does, I suppose. But I don't understand why you left when it hurt you so much," I said, puzzlement slipping into my voice.

"I don't know either. They seemed solid when I decided to leave, but ever since, every time I've gone over them, I can't understand how I ever could have left you." Her voice was quiet and sincere.

We stood in silence for several long minutes until I could finally bear it no longer. I strode towards her, clamping my arms around her waist and her body against mine. She looked surprised, but then she pushed in closer and I forgot everything.

"Yassen…" she whispered. I glanced down at her curiously; she was on her toes and had her mouth pressed against mine almost before I could react.

I pulled away quickly, avoiding her eyes as I tried to make sense of the tangle of emotions. The feeling of her body pressed against me didn't aid clear thinking, but I eventually returned my gaze to her face. She was crying. I lifted my hands from her back and rubbed them off her cheeks.

"You were thinking about when you left, weren't you?" I breathed. I had been thinking exactly the same, so it didn't surprise me when she nodded. She pushed against me, trying to move closer, but I shifted my hands to her shoulders and held her away from me.

She started to protest, but couldn't finish the whole word before my mouth locked onto hers. My hands moved of their own accord to her back again, and I pulled her closer against me.

"Holly," I whispered. My hands tightened on her back as I tried to pull her even closer. She slid her arms around my waist, and the tiny nagging doubt at the back of my mind flickered out of existence. She wanted me, too.

"Yassen…" She pulled back, tugging at my hands until I let them fall. "I have to go."

"What? Why?" I stared at her in utter confusion.

"I'm expecting a call in five minutes," she said. I raised an eyebrow, suddenly unsure whether I'd misread the signs and she couldn't wait to be away from me again. my eyes searched her face and she smiled at me reassuringly.

"It's sort of important; it should get me about ten grand. You can come with me if you like; I'm not trying to get rid of you." My heart leapt and I couldn't suppress the grin that spread over my face as I stepped closer to her once more.

"Let's go then," I murmured, bending down so the words were only a breath. She trembled against me before smiling and slipping her arm though his. That brought back memories. I hadn't realised how much taller than her I was until then, with her hanging off my arm like she had done in Cornwall. A smile formed on my lips and glanced constantly in her direction as she led me through the streets to her flat.

Although it took much less than five minutes, the walk seemed to stretch on indeterminately. I caught Holly looking at me a couple of times and felt my smile widen slightly each time I met her gaze. She appeared to be deep in thought and we walked in silence.

She hurried up to her flat and answered the phone as soon as she could- it was ringing when we got there. I shut the door behind me and followed after her into the sitting room. She was already deep in conversation and I sighed.

Settling onto the sofa, I glanced around the flat, taking in the pale walls and carpets, the soft lighting and the wide French door leading out to a small balcony.

Holly was still talking and, submitting to a rare flash of impatience, I stood up again and paced around the flat. I paused each time I passed Holly to kiss her, drinking in the enticingly sweet scent of her skin. I passed the window for the nineteenth time before I heard what I'd been waiting for.

"I'm finished," Holly said.

The sofa was between us, but I didn't bother going around it, instead leaping easily over the back and landing less than a foot from Holly. She was smiling and she responded enthusiastically as I crushed my mouth to hers again. Part of me, the part that was still in control, told me that this was probably a bad idea, but I had already given my body free rein and that whisper of uncertainty was ignored as my mouth found hers again.

*****

Once my mind cleared and I was able to think straight again, Holly was lying on my chest, held in place by my right arm. Our skin was almost exactly the same shade of milky white. I smiled gently.

"Holly," I whispered, rolling her name in my mouth. "Holly."

"Yassen," she sighed in reply. I could hear the smile in her voice, "what is it?"

I opened my mouth to tell her, but the words wouldn't come and I gave up.

"I really did miss you," I finished lamely.

She glanced up at me, her eyes shining with happiness, and then turned against my body and pressed her lips to my throat. I couldn't stop the tension that took hold of my body and I felt her stiffen in response.

"Sorry," I said, forcing myself to relax, "being an assassin isn't just a job, it becomes your life."

She nodded and pushed herself closer against me. A smile twitched my lips and I wrapped my arms around her again. Within minutes she was asleep, but I couldn't follow suit. Thoughts whirled in my head, a never-ending blur of worry and guilt. Because this couldn't last. I had to stay awake, because if I didn't, I would miss hours of just being with Holly, and I wouldn't do that.

I gently slid her off my chest and rolled onto my side, facing her, drinking in the details of her features. I stayed like that for hours, until the sunlight first slanted through the open curtains. I slid out from under the duvet and pulled them closed so the light wouldn't wake Holly.

I picked up my jeans from the floor and pulled them on. I briefly considered leaving before she woke. Surely that was kinder? But I couldn't. Feeling exceptionally selfish, I went and sat on the bed again, watching Holly as she twitched in her sleep. From the other side of the room, there was a faint buzzing. My phone, vibrating in the pocket of my jacket. I went over and pulled it out quickly. I didn't bother looking at the caller ID before flipping it open. Only one person had the number.

"Yes?"

"Where are you? You should be back by now." I recognised the voice; it was one of Zeljan Kurst's men, a Russian like me.

"I stayed overnight up here," I retorted, dropping a hint of threat into my tone.

"Right." There was a pause. "We're sending a team to get you."

A flicker of movement caught my eyes and I glanced round to see Holly sit up in the bed. I flashed a brief, false smile and turned away.

"I can get back on my own."

"No, we need you back by midday… Mr. Kurst said he would stretch it to three o'clock if you really need it but no later."

"Where?" I asked resignedly.

"We'll tell you where. Go to the town centre and call us when you get there."

The line went dead. I sighed and shoved the phone back into my jacket. Avoiding Holly's gaze, I went and sat beside her on the bed again, wondering how on earth I could break the news to her. I had banked on at least another day before they came looking for me.

"Holly." My voice cracked and I stopped, shocked at this loss of control.

"What is it? Yassen, what's wrong?" Her voice was so full of concern that I flinched. It felt like I was tearing my heart out piece by piece.

"I have to leave you." I finally mustered the courage to look at her. I immediately wished I hadn't. Her face was contorted with pain, and her eyes were brimming with tears.

"Why?" She rasped.

I hesitated, realising that my excuse now was going to sound as pathetically inadequate as hers had when she left me in Cornwall. But I couldn't say nothing.

"I have another mission to do. I have to get back to SCORPIA as soon as I can." I was cut off by Holly as she flung her arms around my chest and lay back, pulling me with her. "Holly, please." I couldn't take this. I suddenly wished that I had left before she woke up.

"Please don't go." Her voice trembled with emotion.

"I can't not go." I pulled her hands apart as gently as I could and sat up again, resting my head on my knees, which I had drawn up. "Please, Holly, please don't make this any harder for me."

She didn't reply for a few moments, and then, with her face turned away from me, she whispered, "I love you, you know that, don't you?"

I nodded instantly, of course I knew that. "Yes, I know." I sucked in a deep breath, steeling myself, and then, leaning forward to rest my head on her shoulder, I spoke again. "You don't know that I love you too."

I heard her gasp and she turned quickly to face me. I saw her eyes, brimming with happiness, and then her mouth was pressed against mine, and then her eyes were the last thing on my mind.

Once we disentangled ourselves, I started to dress again. She did the same, standing opposite me. Neither of us dared move our eyes from the other. I couldn't. I had suddenly realised that I was going to lose her again, quite possibly forever. To waste even a second of the limited time we had left seemed criminal.

"Where do you need to go?" Her voice shook but I didn't show that I had heard it.

"They said to call them when I was in the town centre, and they'd send someone to get me." I replied slowly, keeping my voice in tight control. She nodded and I reached out impulsively and caught hold of her hand, then brought it to my lips in a brief kiss. Her lips twitched in a faint smile.

"Don't come with me, please," I said, "Holly, stay here so you're safe. I couldn't bear it if you got hurt."

She was shaking her head before I'd finished, and though I pretended, I wasn't really annoyed. I selfishly wanted to spend as much time with her as I could, en if it put her in danger. She told me that she would stay with me, and I agreed too quickly, but there wasn't enough time left to argue with her, even though I would have let her win.

"Come on, then," I said, faking resignation.

She smiled and stepped past me through the open door. I caught hold of her hand and held onto it as we made our way down the stairs. Her fingers were twined tightly with mine and I had to force myself to extend my awareness beyond her. A small sobbing gasp caught my attention. Holly was crying. I reached out and, with the tip of my finger, dabbed the tear from her velvet cheek.

"It'll be alright," I said, slipping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her body closer against mine, "Holly, it's ok." She didn't respond, except with another ragged breath and another tear squeezed from between her eyelashes.

I stopped and took hold of her shoulders. She looked up at me with a mixture of pain, fear and love that wrenched at my heart. To avoid looking into her tear-filled eyes, I bent and kissed her forehead gently, and then dragged into a hug. She buried her face in my shoulder and allowed herself a few sobs before she forced herself to regain control. The effort was clear in her eyes when she pulled away and looked at me again.

"This sucks," she said. Her voice was muffled by her coat sleeves, which she was using to dry her eyes. I laughed at the sentiment, mostly because it was either that or cry.

"Come on."

It was almost ten minutes to the town centre, walking slowly. I kept my arm around her the whole way, holding her as close to me as was possible. We stopped dead when we reached the high street, drawing annoyed cries and admonitions from the crowds around us, but it was as if Holly and I were in our own little bubble made up of our memories. Holly's hand tightened on mine, drawing me back to the present.

"Ok, I can do this," I murmured to myself. I nodded to lock the message in and squeezed her hand in return before pulling mine free and jamming it into my pocket and pulling out my phone. I pressed a button, operating on auto-pilot, and held the phone to my ear. It rang once before it was picked up.

"It's Yassen. I'm at the town centre," I said quickly.

"Ok, meet at the lakeside in ten minutes, fifteen tops." The line went dead.

"How long before they arrive?" Holly asked. Her hand found its way to my arm and I glanced down at it.

"Ten minutes, maybe fifteen." I said, keeping my voice indifferent. I kept my voice under control, but tears suddenly filled my eyes, blurring my vision. Holly drew in a surprised breath. I tried to smile at her, to reassure her, but she didn't respond and I rubbed the tears away.

"You ok?" She asked. I considered for a few moments, leaning my head to one side.

"Yes," I said finally, "actually, I am ok. I'm with you, Holly. How could I not be ok?" I leant down and kissed her again, drawing her close against me.

She whispered into my shoulder, "I'm going to miss you." The lump rose in my throat and I could only nod mutely against her cheek.

"Where do you have to meet whoever's coming to get you?" She asked resignedly. I broke away, feeling resentful of the reminder.

"In the car park next to the lake, apparently. How do I get there? I've never been here before, remember?" She rolled her eyes, causing another painful tug at my heart.

What she said next brought me up short, though. "Come on, follow me." She took a few steps and looked back at where I stood, motionless. "What's wrong?"

"You can't come with me." I said slowly. I walked over and stood in front of her. I clasped my hand around hers and pressed them against my chest, then looked into her eyes. "It's too dangerous."

Her response was immediate.

"I don't care. I'm not going to spend a second away from you if I don't absolutely have to."

"Holly, I'm not going to risk your life," I retorted. It surprised me how sincere and forceful my voice was. I really didn't want Holly to get hurt. Not that she cared of course.

"And I'm not going to leave you until I have to. Come on, this way." She took my hand and led me up the high street. I couldn't argue with her further, but it didn't sit well with me that she was coming. Selfishly, I decided not to complain.

We walked through the wide, public park that bordered the car park and stopped just inside the gate. I pulled Holly close against me and a smile ghosted over my lips as she set her head against my chest. I ran my free hand over her cheek. She sighed with happiness, but I was suddenly alert and tense, starting to pull away.

She felt it and stepped away from me. I twisted around, searching for the source of the danger that had suddenly entered my instinctive radar. I spotted them almost instantly, three men in a black BMW.

"On the road up there," I told Holly, gesturing towards them. Her eyes flicked towards them just before they passed out of sight.

"They've gone the long way round. We've got a couple of minutes," She said, taking a step towards me. I moved away.

"You should go; they'll be back soon," I said stiffly. Fighting back the turmoil of emotions in my heart, I focused on Holly again.

"Yassen…" She said gently. I let out a soft moan and pulled her towards me, locking my mouth hungrily with hers again. My heart swelled painfully as she pulled herself closer, her arms inside my jacket.

"They're back," I said, "Holly, you need to go."

"Yassen…" she repeated. I pushed her away from the gate, putting the hedge between us and the road. I kissed her once more, aware that this was almost definitely our last.

She was crying again when I pulled away. It wrenched at my heart, but I had to go: the car was in the car park now. I only had a few seconds.

"I love you," she whispered, with eyes swimming with tears.

"I love you too," I said. The words sounded pathetic, but I didn't have time. I smiled at her with all the love I had, then turned and headed out into the car park, back to SCORPIA, and away from the sobbing girl that I loved desperately. And who I would never see again.


End file.
